Explosive Diarrhea and Indian Teas
by RazberryMagic
Summary: "Hmm, I like it." Ginny said, "Operation Get Luna A Boyfriend." "So I was thinking," Mrs. Weasley turned to Fred, "Fred honey-" Fred cut her off, "Whoa, mum, you can't ask me to go out with her. I'm older than her, she's Ginny's age, I think of her as a little sister, and I don't like her! I mean I do like her, she's very likeable, I just don't like her that way!"


Mrs. Weasley came out of the kitchen and looked around the living room, the rest of the Weasleys, and honorary Weasleys, were occupied in one way or the other.  
Mr. Weasley, Bill, Fleur, Charlie, and Percy were playing Exploding Snap on the tea table by the window. Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione were sprawled out on the ground playing Wizard's Chess and talking about whatever came to their minds. Fred and George sat on the sofa talking quietly in a way that did not bode well for whoever they were planning on pranking next.  
"Everyone," Mrs. Weasley said, "There is something I need to talk about with all of you."  
"What is it, mum?"  
"Is something wrong, dear?"  
"Is it about Voldemort?"  
At the last question, almost everyone flinched and shivered at the same time, which looked pretty funny.  
"No, dears," She came and sat on the sofa, "Everyone gather around, it is something else."  
At this all the Weasleys, and honorary Weasleys, came around in a semicircle around Mrs. Weasley.  
"Now," She began in an ominous tone of voice, "All of you know Luna right?"  
"Of course," Fred said.  
Because you see, the only reason Fred was still alive and breathing was because at the Battle of Hogwarts, when a brick wall was about to fall on him, Mr. Lovegood had saved him. But in the process, Mr. Lovegood had been hit in the chest with a stray Death-Eater curse.  
While Mr. Lovegood was recovering at St. Mungo's, Luna had been a recurring guest at the Burrow.  
"I'm worried about that girl," Said Mrs. Weasley, "Lately-" she broke off.  
"I've noticed it too," Hermione said, "She hasn't said a single thing about Blibbering Humdingers lately."  
"So you're saying that because instead of acting weird, she's acting normal, she's acting weird, instead of acting normal?" Ron inquired turning a chess piece around in his hand.  
"Oh, Ronald," Hermione sighed into his shoulder, "Yes, that is precisely what I am saying."  
"I've noticed that too," Ginny said.  
"Yeah," Harry said, "We actually had a chat outside in the garden yesterday and the only things we talked about was her seventh year at Hogwarts."  
"So what are you proposing, dear?" Arthur asked his wife.  
"I think," Mrs. Weasley began, with a glimmer in her eye that reminded everyone of the glimmer that appeared in the twins' eyes occasionally whenever somebody walked into one of their pranks, "We need to get Luna a boyfriend."  
"Hmm, I like it" Ginny said, "Operation Get Luna A Boyfriend."  
"So I was thinking," Mrs. Weasley turned to Fred, "Fred honey-"  
Fred cut her off, "Whoa, mum, you can't ask me to go out with her. I'm older than her, she's Ginny's age, I think of her as a little sister, and I don't like her! I mean I do like her, she's likeable, I just don't like her that way!"  
Fred's face was flushed and there was an amused expression on George's.  
"Of course not dear," Mrs. Weasley said, shooting a glare at Harry, Hermione and the rest of the Weasleys that were snickering quietly watching Fred, "I just wanted to ask you to get me some bouquets of flowers from that flower shop in town."  
"Oh," Fred said, the Weasley flush blooming on his face, "Now?"  
"Yes dear," Mrs. Weasley had a strange smile on her face, "Now."  
Fred stood up and apparated with a pop. Seconds after he left, the entire room's content of people started laughing.  
"Did you see his face?" Bill chuckled.  
"Eet waz bright _rouge_!" Fleur laughed.  
"I'm not the only person that thinks Fred likes Luna right?" Ron questioned.  
"You are not, Ron." Mr. Weasley said.  
"So what's the plan, mum?" Percy asked, ever since he had made up with the family, he had stuck around with the twins a good deal. A bit of their mischievousness had rubbed off on him and now Percy relished the chance to get back at Fred for all the pranks he had pulled on Percy. Even if it was to set him up with a girl he undeniably liked but could not admit it to.  
"Do all of you know why you are here?" Mrs. Weasley asked.  
"Wait, here?" Harry queried, "Here as in the Burrow, or as in England, or as in the world or?"  
"The Burrow, darling," Mrs. Weasley said with a smile, "It's for the party, right?"  
All of the people around her murmured 'yes'.  
"That's where we can try to set up Fred and Luna." She finished triumphantly.  
"Yeah, but how are we going to make sure they stay together the whole night?" Ginny asked curiously.  
"I know!" Hermione said, her hand shooting up into the air, "Oh, oops." She lowered her hand, "Old habits. Anyway, what if everyone had to come with a date to the party?"  
"Well then Fred could just ask whoever he wanted right?" Charlie probed.  
"No..." Harry said, "What if we told all the girls he asked to say no?"  
"Hmm," George said, miming stroking an imaginary beard, "That might just work."  
"And then," Percy joined in, "We could invite Luna for tea or something and them we could make Fred ask her."  
Everyone looked at Percy. "What?" He asked, "I want them to get together, I can't stand any more of their "secret" looks at each other."

"Wait," Ron asked, "Aren't we forgetting something?"  
"Are we?" Everyone murmured.  
"Yeah," He continued, "Does Luna like Fred back?"  
"Well brother-of-mine." George, "I have spotted some unusual blushing and stuttering and other classic symptoms of unrequited love on both parts."  
"Then it's settled." Mrs. Weasley said, "I'll get the tea."  
"I feel slightly guilty about this," Ginny said.  
"Don't worry," Hermione said, "A little water clears us of this deed."  
"What?" Harry asked.  
"You know, Shakespeare?" Blank faces. "Dead English muggle writer?" Still blank. "Very Famous Dead English muggle writer?" No recognition at all. "Oh forget it."

* * *

**Happy Easter, guys! For everyone waiting for my other stories, don't worry I will update soon. See I published a new story, that means I haven't abandoned my works (like some of you were saying). Well anyway tell me if you like this story! _~Razberry_**

**P.S. This was written as a fic for the Random Quotes Challenge by The Chasm. **


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